It's tearing me apart, it's ruining everything

 Maybe there was a certain magic in that old elevator, meeting people. It gave L a tickle of a laugh in the roof of her mouth when she thought about it now. Emmie was a charmer. L had never known someone so precise and to the point. She could even make Wade stand to attention. L didn't know anyone quite like her. Emmie took charge and made everything so delightful, even sharing a steak together.

"We'll have the ribeye medium well. Oh, and an extra salad." It was the beginning of a long dinner, but by the end, L was glad Emmie had ordered because it was all so overwhelming. At least, L didn't forget to bring home a burger for Jax.

"Did you not get enough to eat?" Emmie asked on the way home, as if she'd been in the wrong.

"Oh, I'm completely full, it's for my roommate," L sighed, pressing her hand against her flat belly.

"Roommate?" 

L noticed Emmie was curious.

"It's not what you think, but if it weren't for Jax, I'd probably still be in a studio."

L invited her in. Of course, Jax was closed up in his room. L hated to admit it. "He's sort of my grown-up child." She mentioned he was going to his first GO tournament. "Thankfully, he's on a team, and  they'll take care of him."

She knocked on his door. He didn't answer. Sure enough, he was in the dark, staring at his computer screen.

"Hey, come here," she whispered. She knew he would hear. He shuffled out barefoot in his usual attire, sweat pants and a hoodie. 

"This is Emmie," L told him.

"From work?" He looked at L, then Emmie.

"No, she lives just down the hall."

"Down the hall," he repeated with a nod. It wasn't long until he rattled off his itinerary for tomorrow. Chase from the Chess and Go club would be picking him up. He would be gone for the next week. "Must wake up at four when my alarm goes off." He said again and again in a monotone voice.

"Stop." L put her hand practically in front of his mouth. "Eat this before it gets too cold."

Jax nodded, thanked her and went to his room with the food.

"Is he-" Emmie winced but then went silent as if she didn't need to know any more.

"He's cool." L left it at that and went to pour some cold water for them.

"Are you really OK, you know, about Macy?" Emmie wanted to know. 

They planted themselves on the couch. Each like bookends that could not be near each other.

"It's fine." L decided.

"Are you sure? I mean, you do like her." Emmie made it sound so obvious.

"So." L shrugged, but she explained that no one had ever madly fallen in love with her, so there was nothing to be sad about. "Besides, Jake is an old friend. And that makes me like her more that she is still friends with a coworker."

Emmie agreed with a nod. 

"God knows, I don't have any coworkers like that," L laughed.

"You don't like where you work?" Emmie looked at her out of concern.

"Oh, I bet you get along with everyone," L smirked, thinking they were the exact opposite. She sensed that Emmie liked everyone.

"Yeah, I think so." She said she'd been at the dental office well over four years, and there weren't many changes. "We know each other, pretty much." She mentioned her friend Diggs, the dental hygienist.

"Of course, I don't know how we've stayed friends as long as we have. Diggs loves a good party. Loves life. I'm a wallflower."

"You're not a wallflower. You should have been a supervisor. You could supervise with ease." L told her.

This caught Emmie off guard, but she shook with laughter. Of course, she didn't see that person in herself. L understood.

"I know I don't have any business taking care of anyone else," L shrugged in thought about Macy. "I've got plenty to take care of, with myself."

"But  I'm sure it must have been a good feeling, helping her like you did this week." Emmie smiled as if she thought it was more than something she would even mention.

"I guess so." But L couldn't help to feel sad. It was like the end of the movie was too abrupt. "Maybe, maybe you should go." She felt a bit choked up as if she needed a good cry, alone.

Emmy nodded. "Remember, if you want to call me. You know if you need to talk or go grocery shopping. Either or." She stood up, straightening out her outfit, as if she would never be a mess, anywhere she went.

"Yeah, maybe." L cleared throat. But she needed to get through this first. She would have to figure out how to be around Macy. "Oh, and thanks for coming with me tonight."  She winced then, wondering if Macy thought Emmie was her girlfriend, or if she was oblivious to that, too.

I'm thinking about the fireworks That go off when you smile

 Jake wanted to be that big brother Macy needed. At least it started that way on his visit. He had lots of little presents for her that he'd kept since the holidays. He hoped she didn't find him to be quite the tightwad. Because he was. He came from a long family tradition of saving money, and, well, it was part of his nature.

Still, he was glad to be here and hoped he could help her feel more comfortable finding her way around Chicago. They spent the day going to places for hometown pizza and unique shops. Of course, he drove most of it, but in part, she tried. It was a lot harder than piano lessons, he assumed. She was nervous behind the wheel.

And she talked a lot about Wade. How it was much different living in his apartment than she thought it would be. Especially, with all his stuff around. It was hard to listen without being furious. Yes, he hated him before he even met him. How could he have done this to Macy? 

Now she wasn't even part of his marketing team. She worked in receptionist land. Would she always have to be in the low pay zone? And with AI lurking, well, he wasn't sure how long this career might last. But Jake was optimistic. And she had her little shelf of monsters now, and the keychain accessory that she promised would always make her think of him.

"I think of you a lot." She was almost in tears when she said it. In fact, he'd decided to spend a week, not a weekend. Besides, he planned on getting rid of Wade's stuff.

Still, they made it to the dinner party. It was great to see L with someone. He didn't feel so bad for her after all. Of course, she cornered him to ask about Macy's driving. She told him Macy needed to get out more. Macy needed to learn to drive in the city. He agreed. It was good to meet someone who cared about his Macy.

Naturally, he would have to correct himself. They were friends. But he cared about her very much. Just on a budget, no less. Then, to meet (Wade) Mr. Nonchalant, no less truly burned Jake. The fury was there on the tip of his tongue.

"You have to move your stuff, because I'm moving in," he'd said that night, possibly out of delirium. Jake looked at his glass; it was only water. He wasn't drunk. Just mad.

"What?" Jake caught Wade's attention, as if maybe there was the intention to have something on the side with Macy if it didn't work out with the Boss' daughter.

Jake felt himself shake with anger, and there was Macy with her hand on top of his, melting his vexation, "You really mean it?"

He'd never seen her so happy, and for the first time, Jake didn't have a life plan ready for this magnitude.

Let it all out on me

 

L felt uncertain about so many things. Had she lost Macy? Was she just a player like anyone else? No, L felt as if she were the player, and of course, deep down, even Emmie knew she shouldn't be playing with her life this way. After all, L was a diabetic.

She didn't let many know this secret because L found people would be judgmental. Either tell her not to eat this or that, or THE PITY.

She hated it. Yes, she hated her life very much. It was either trying to get out on her own or being a spinster tucked away at her Aunt's, waiting for one appointment after another.  No one wanted to say it, but she was doomed. 

She listened to all the terrible, sad, and sometimes tragic endings of those in her family who were gone now, during the holidays. Her Aunt kept everyone's history in a book, making everything sugar-free, fat-free, and of course, no bread or anything like white food around. L had lasted all of six weeks there when her mother decided to go on an adventure to Sweden. 

Nothing like being diabetic and Swedish. Of course, all this time her mom thought they were Irish, and then she found out from a DNA test that all their ancestors were from Sweden. Yes, her mom was searching for her own history and decided to find new roots through an online friend, and now lives her own fairytale.

Granted, it was good to be away from each other. It wasn't like L had been a diabetic all her life, either. They'd had some good times, car camping, living without electricity in the outback of Arizona when L was small. But when she started school, her mom moved back to her parents' (L's grandparents) to have a more stable life. It wasn't until L was seventeen, after an acute case of pneumonia, that they found out she was diabetic. And she'd been sick ever since.

Still, she managed through college, knowing she had to do something dependable to be independent. And so far it had worked out fine, getting the job in marketing and statistics, but some days she might as well be girl Friday. She still might have to think about going into the postal service. She just needed to stay healthy.

Her life was just getting by. These days, there were so many beeps and warnings to worry about in her body. Maybe the hospital had put a tracker on her, and she didn't know it. L felt as if she would be Bionic, someday.

But tonight, she didn't have to be alone, meeting up with Wade and Winne. Oh, the coupling. Well, L wasn't sure how to introduce Emmie. It wasn't a date. If it was... L thought she might have heart failure.

At least, L didn't have to drive. Emmie pushed in for directions on her phone, and they were on their way in Emme's little white jeep. She'd even found a top for her from Emmie's closet.  Of course, she'd never warn it herself. It was something her friend got for her; she didn't know how many birthdays ago.

"You can keep it," Emmie said. "It looks better on you."

L did her best to smile. But it wouldn't be easy. They beat Macy and Jake to the steakhouse. 

"Oh, it's you." Wade gave her a dead stare as if this were unexpected. "Who's this?"

L squinted. She hated her co-worker Wade, who always managed an endless list of things for her to do.

"Uh, Emmie."

Emmie was cordial, but somehow came off like she might be an off-duty officer of some kind. They sat next to Winnie, whose father was the big shot at the company, but thankfully not here for this casual affair. 

Just when they were looking at their menus, L heard Winnie whisper-shout to Wade. "Oh, he's cute, like K-Pop cute." Winnie bit a grin.