Whatever's been weighin' you down

 "Do we even know her real name?" Emmie sighed about Macy's grandmother moving in. She thought she would have left by now, but the weeks were wearing on. It was a new month. This was getting weird.

Emmie crossed her arms in thought. "I know you don't think I understand, but I do," Emmie told L when she came over to rant about Gram. She knew how stressed L's life was with this outsider taking over L's place with kindness that could kill L. 

"I'm sorry, you're having to go through this," Emmie found her hands on each of L's shoulders as if she could get through this, but when she looked at those sad puppy eyes of L's, Emmie could help but give her a hug, and she told her all over again how if she'd only known how this grown woman would be.

"Just stay with me." She said softly to L.

"No, I couldn't." L pulled back as if she could be a tough old bird, too. She wasn't a little girl.

"Yes, you can." Emmie looked at her wide-eyed. "You deserve to have a comfortable space to come home to."

L winced as if she hated to intrude. As if it wouldn't be right.

"Oh, come on." Emmie smiled as she put her arm around her and walked her through the apartment. "OK, I know there is only one bed, but it's big enough. It'll be like a sleepover. And you are free of bread and anything sugary here. We'll make the most on big fat salads and egg scrambles."

She reminded her of how they found that huge bag of rice from the Indian Store that was actually OK for diabetics, and she'd made a chicken curry not so long ago that didn't spike L's sugar. She went on about how it would be fun to prep meals for the week. "It'll be fun. Think of it as a vaca from your own place."

L chuckled. Emmie thought she was feeling better already. 

"Let's get your stuff." Emmie would help her.

L nodded as if this might be the only solution for now.

Rollercoaster

 L supposed they were doing the right thing, letting Macy's grandmother move in with her. Still, it felt as if she was getting closer to Emmie every day.

She didn't want to go back to her apartment. The woman was taking over. She cleaned. She baked. Moved furniture around. She didn't think the place was letting in enough light.

"No wonder you're so depressed," she'd told L that she needed more Vitamin D and K in her life. And she needed to eat more than those protein bars.

L tried to explain she was always on the go, and there was that diabetic matter. Only, Gram kept forgetting, and she was going crazy making all sorts of cookies. L didn't know if she could take it anymore.

"I'm sure they love you at the breakroom." At first, Emmie made light of it, but even she could see the struggle L had with Gram's obsession with cooking. 

"I don't know what to do."

L found she couldn't stand up for herself. She thought she could, but Gram wouldn't listen. Give her an inch and she took a mile. It was as if she wanted to make the place her own, with cozy floral landscapes and little knick-knacks that she couldn't help to bring home.

"Remember, it's only temporary," Macy told her. "She'll go back as soon as Jake gets here." Macy assured her.

"Well, is he ever coming back?" L looked at her bug-eyed while Macy sampled her gram's cookies in the breakroom.

"It'll be soon," Macy shrugged about the matter. "He's just trying to find a job before he gets here, and well, there's the summer reading program at the library that he said he would see through."

L nodded, wondering how did she came to be a part of this. A part of her felt sad that Macy didn't quite understand the dilemma she was in with her grandmother.  She didn't mean to be in a fret, but it was not good for her to live with someone who wanted to feed her foods that were bad for her health. And L only had so much diligence. This was much more complicated than Macy would ever know, and maybe she didn't care if she did.

Mother's day!

 MOM & DAD showed up! I know it was Gram's doing. Even if she is staying at L's at the moment. I mean, how long was this going to go on? (sigh) I love her, but all her Grandmothering can make me crazy. I want my Jake, who is still, you know, getting through this ordeal of leaving his job and finding a new job...and getting out of his apartment, which feels like an eternity! I'm not liking it. Not one little bit!

Anyway, I was surprised to see Mom & Dad. I mean, deep down, I kept thinking once I left, they would fall apart. Yeah, I know, I'm making it all about me. (sigh)

Dad's a high school choir teacher. And mom works in Special Ed. Damn, if they aren't the happiest people on earth!

Anyway, we went casual. Got deep dish pizza at a place L & Emmie suggested. Ended up at the mall and Mom and I got Crocs (so did Dad and Gram, too). Although son, like mother, they both love their Tommie Copper shoes best. 

OK, I'm not gonna lie, I loved seeing my parents. It was a long time coming, and I'm glad Gram got them to come up because she knew I was going nowhere. 

I feel I'm on pause about this with Jake. I mean, I go to work, do my best, come home, and wait for us to do FaceTime. I know I shouldn't be like this. I should just be calm. But deep inside, I'm not, I'm waiting for something to go wrong. Like he won't move here.

Oh, how I hate my anxieties. And I would probably be in an ocean of woes and wine if Gram wasn't here. I want to be strong. I don't want to need him, but I just want to see this through. I want us to be happy.

But like Gram has told me so many times in the past. I'm the most impatient person. Then again, I get it from her.

-Macy