Rollercoaster

 L supposed they were doing the right thing, letting Macy's grandmother move in with her. Still, it felt as if she was getting closer to Emmie every day.

She didn't want to go back to her apartment. The woman was taking over. She cleaned. She baked. Moved furniture around. She didn't think the place was letting in enough light.

"No wonder you're so depressed," she'd told L that she needed more Vitamin D and K in her life. And she needed to eat more than those protein bars.

L tried to explain she was always on the go, and there was that diabetic matter. Only, Gram kept forgetting, and she was going crazy making all sorts of cookies. L didn't know if she could take it anymore.

"I'm sure they love you at the breakroom." At first, Emmie made light of it, but even she could see the struggle L had with Gram's obsession with cooking. 

"I don't know what to do."

L found she couldn't stand up for herself. She thought she could, but Gram wouldn't listen. Give her an inch and she took a mile. It was as if she wanted to make the place her own, with cozy floral landscapes and little knick-knacks that she couldn't help to bring home.

"Remember, it's only temporary," Macy told her. "She'll go back as soon as Jake gets here." Macy assured her.

"Well, is he ever coming back?" L looked at her bug-eyed while Macy sampled her gram's cookies in the breakroom.

"It'll be soon," Macy shrugged about the matter. "He's just trying to find a job before he gets here, and well, there's the summer reading program at the library that he said he would see through."

L nodded, wondering how did she came to be a part of this. A part of her felt sad that Macy didn't quite understand the dilemma she was in with her grandmother.  She didn't mean to be in a fret, but it was not good for her to live with someone who wanted to feed her foods that were bad for her health. And L only had so much diligence. This was much more complicated than Macy would ever know, and maybe she didn't care if she did.

Mother's day!

 MOM & DAD showed up! I know it was Gram's doing. Even if she is staying at L's at the moment. I mean, how long was this going to go on? (sigh) I love her, but all her Grandmothering can make me crazy. I want my Jake, who is still, you know, getting through this ordeal of leaving his job and finding a new job...and getting out of his apartment, which feels like an eternity! I'm not liking it. Not one little bit!

Anyway, I was surprised to see Mom & Dad. I mean, deep down, I kept thinking once I left, they would fall apart. Yeah, I know, I'm making it all about me. (sigh)

Dad's a high school choir teacher. And mom works in Special Ed. Damn, if they aren't the happiest people on earth!

Anyway, we went casual. Got deep dish pizza at a place L & Emmie suggested. Ended up at the mall and Mom and I got Crocs (so did Dad and Gram, too). Although son, like mother, they both love their Tommie Copper shoes best. 

OK, I'm not gonna lie, I loved seeing my parents. It was a long time coming, and I'm glad Gram got them to come up because she knew I was going nowhere. 

I feel I'm on pause about this with Jake. I mean, I go to work, do my best, come home, and wait for us to do FaceTime. I know I shouldn't be like this. I should just be calm. But deep inside, I'm not, I'm waiting for something to go wrong. Like he won't move here.

Oh, how I hate my anxieties. And I would probably be in an ocean of woes and wine if Gram wasn't here. I want to be strong. I don't want to need him, but I just want to see this through. I want us to be happy.

But like Gram has told me so many times in the past. I'm the most impatient person. Then again, I get it from her.

-Macy

Oh, that granddaughter

I just don't know what to do with that girl. I thought her experience with that boyfriend out in Denver had changed her. Evidently not. 

Is she in a rut? Doesn't she understand the freedom she has being out on her own?

None of us likes change, but I'm worried she might never enjoy life on her own. Supposedly, her library coworker is like a brother to her. But I highly doubt that. She's just telling me a story. I can sense it, you know.

Maybe he can keep her grounded. She has no sense of direction. This I know. She got lost once while coming home from middle school. (sigh) She kept going around and around the school block. Made her mother a nervous wreck. So it was me who had to take care of it.

Don't know if she just takes after her mother, perhaps. I love her with all my heart. After all, she's my closest grandchild. The rest live on the East or the West Coast. I never got to know them, quite like I did Macy.

Macy, Macy, Macy..what are we going to do with you?

Gram Jeanette